Wybible

So have you ever heard of those fish-gods from ancient Canaanite practices or what you would find out of a Lovecraft novel--well, this is a different kind of all-powerful, all-knowing being that you would not have heard from anywhere else but here.

So the story goes like this.

Well, back in ancient times, shit was fucked up and stuff. So a supernatural force--named Wy Wynaut--spoke to a large number of people who were willing to believe everything she said. So Wy told them that unless they share her exact opinion on everything, they would die and go to a place where Justin Bieber would torment the ears of their ghosts for an eternity; and she told them to write a book about how she spoke to them and how to share her opinions, so they did it.

Now since this was ancient times, they obviously wrote it in a language that became extinct sometime in the future and this--the book they were instructed to write--was translated by a group of people in a garage, supposedly under the inspiration or something of Wy.

Now you may be asking, "But ancient writers, what do we do to not be tormented eternally?" Well the answer is simple; all you have to do is love ramen, only listen to metal, know of Sweetie Belle as best pony, use proper grammar, drink Coca-Cola, watch King of the Hill, hate YouTube, Facebook and Google but use them anyway.

Now you may be asking, "But ancient writers, how can you know what all of those things are when you're living in a time-period in which it hasn't been invented yet?" Well, again, the answer is simple; we know the future. Thus proving that this either really happened, or this book was really written in the modern day.